Who determines how much visitation is reasonable and fair?

When a court awards physical custody to one parent and "reasonable" visitation to the other, the parent with physical custody is generally in the driver's seat regarding what is reasonable. This need not be bad if the parents cooperate to see that the kids spend a significant amount of time with each parent.
Unfortunately, it sometimes translates into little visitation time with the noncustodial parent, resulting in disputes over missed visits and inconvenience. To avoid such problems, many courts now prefer for the parties to work out a fairly detailed parenting plan that sets the visitation schedule and outlines who has responsibility for decisions affecting the children.

Does a court have to decide our visitation schedule, or can the other parent and I make the schedule ourselves?

If you and your child's other parent can agree on a parenting plan and visitation schedule, you can submit it to the court for approval. As long as it's reasonable, the court will approve it, and it will become an enforceable court order. This is a great option because it means that you can decide on the best parenting arrangement for your family -- and you know your family's needs a lot better than the judge does. When you make your own parenting plan, make sure you deal with details like who will take care of the kids if they have an unexpected day off from school and how you'll divide holidays and school vacations. Leave room for changes as the kids grow older and their needs change -- you can put a provision in the agreement that says that, as long as you write down changes and you both sign them, they're enforceable just like your original order.